The Last Day in my Dear Diary!

Pic src: Dear Diary

The year closes upon me. The dying year gives way to a new one. As I try to hold on to the fleeting time, I see myself assessing the past year’s importance in my life. The year was complete in itself with all ups and down, successes and failures, accomplishments and disappointments, laughter and tears. This amalgam of victory and defeat is what we call life.
I relived the whole year right from January 1, 2009 as I browsed through the pages of my diary. I second Anne Frank’s opinion here when I say that my diary has been my best friend. Whenever I want to express something my diary has been is always there with selfless friendship – no demands, no complaints. The pages of my diary feel my happiness, my pain. When the world sees my laughing face, it is my diary that says, “Now tell me the truth…” When somebody asks me, “What happened?” and I reply “Nothing”, it is my diary that knows everything behind that ‘nothing’.
A lesson of life learnt
of the things lost
of faded memories,
a story of my life
this year that was.
It was something unforgettable
this year that was!

Oscar Wilde said, “We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars.” It is all in our mind how we look at life. Caught in the humdrum of life, we often grow tired of the ups and downs – broken by the indifferent and detached attitude, shattered by the disappointments we face, the pain of dreams that never materialize, hopes dashed to the ground.
But life goes on. Life is when we get back on our feet after having been razed to the ground.

New Year Resolutions (for 2010)

Original src of pic: New Year Resolutions
pic modified by: Amritbir Kaur

We all make resolutions but tend to break them too soon. And this is not something very uncommon, we all do that. This is a common human trait. But we must all try to rise above this tendency of human erring. Try and we will succeed in keeping our word, after all, it is for ourselves that we would be keeping true to our resolutions; and it is worth its weight in gold in being that much selfish.
So this is the thought process that set my mind thinking and I chalked out the following list of resolutions for the coming year and I really mean to stick to them :)
• I would be more spontaneous because that would make me closer to being truthful, so to say.
• We often use the term ‘harmless lies’. Now that is nothing but a lame excuse in the garb of which we move away from truth. I promise to stay away from such harmless lies.
• I would be more true to my words. This would mean that I would take the help of my words (now that I have made them my best friend: ‘Words are all I have’). Taking help means expressing my inner self whenever I feel something and not keeping those feelings to myself. This would make the heart all the more at peace with itself. Being a bit selfish I know!!! :)
• I resolve that my words won’t ever hurt someone even if it means being courteous to my enemies (though I don’t have anyone in that list till date!!!). I believe in forgiving though I cannot forget that easily. (Referring to the policy of ‘forgive and forget’)
• To contribute a bit to the rescue of our environment, I have decided to have cut down on my usage of paper. Though I am already practicing it, yet I would do that more vigorously in the coming year.
• I mean to say that I would be a wise user when it comes to the question of consumption of natural resources like water. A big NO to its wastage.

Would be adding more to this list…but only when I seriously resolve to follow those and not just to make my list long!!!



pic src: Flowers

Poker Faced Personalities

Pic src: Poker Faced

We all have a masked identity. We are never ready to show our real visage to anybody around us. Never are we honest to ourselves, let alone being to anybody else. Often we try to be someone else. And in this impersonation we tend to lose our originality. The real essence lies in being just oneself. We actually underestimate ourselves when we are making an attempt to be someone else.
We try to either hide our emotions, or try to fake them. We don’t think of ourselves much, we only know that we have to keep up appearances in society. In keeping up, we badly let ourselves down in our own eyes.
Deception tends to rule our lives. This holds true especially in the modern world torn apart by materialistic tendencies. Ingenuity is missing. And this is not at all a sign of a healthy human society.
Being poker faced means not being spontaneous when it comes to display of emotions. Spontaneity is associated with being more natural. And this naturalness implies truthful. It is only after deliberation that we pollute the thing with untruth.
And doing this is not that easy, we have to practice that. Smiling when heart is crying, or just making do with a casual smile when you really feel like punching the other person hard in the face for some really big blunder or uttering something grossly rubbish are some of the instances when we display a look of our poker faced personalities. These are the situations when you basically cannot express your real feelings. So we have to take the help of fake emotions. At times, we learn to feign sheer indifference. We put on a cloak of being concerned when we don’t ever intend to be.
Apart from our words, even our body language too tends to expose our real thoughts. So we need to master the art of deception in that too. In the present times, we find a lot many poker faced personalities. It was Shakespeare who wrote as far back as seventeenth century:
“All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts…”

and these lines hold as true as ever.
We wear a mask daily because we are afraid of truth. We are afraid of acknowledging what is obvious because all that we have in our mind is deception—at times it means camouflaging emotions, while at other it is simply degrading someone else just for the sake the for And also because we are afraid to own our weaknesses and our real self. It is high time we stopped bluffing and mastered the art of ingenuity. That would definitely make this world a better place to live in…with a lost less grievances, tears, complaints and heart breaks. Let’s contribute our bit…speak up now, just as I poured my heart out in writing this post…

The Mantra of Successful Relationships - Part III


It is only trust that provides a strong foundation for building a lifelong relationship. Lies cannot be the stepping stones of a budding relationship. For being true to others we first have to be true to ourselves. This means confessing to our own self our weaknesses whenever we falter, or are incapable of doing a thing.
Another very important factor is commitment. And it is not something that binds us to a particular relation on the basis of some compulsion. Commitment is when we want to be bound in that relationship with all our heart and soul. It is something heartfelt. It also means to remain steadfast and not changing with the changing times, like fair-weather friends. We should not measure our wealth by the amount of money we have, but by the things we have which we won’t trade for any price. This is commitment in the true sense of the term, with no conditions attached; only dominated by the strings of heart. We don’t love a person for what he has, or because of what he has done but simply what he/she is – the selfless and unconditional love.
‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are two very short words. But a lot of problems are created when we don’t use these words carefully. Decide once and for all but once decided then stick to it. Don’t waver in your opinions. Commitment means being there for your partner now and forever.




Pic Src: Christmas


The Mantra of Successful Relationships - Part II


It is not that we have to understand and give our inputs every time. But sometimes lending an ear is of utmost importance, especially when we need it the most. Life is full of all sorts of varied experiences…some of which just go by but there are other which continue to nag us. So in that situation it becomes imperative that we express our pent up emotions. Give your partner an assurance that he/she is being listened to. The silence of the listener would also communicate in that situation. Show that you care. Of course, the demonstration of emotions is not always required. Sometimes it is of utmost importance that we are there when our partner badly needs our support. By being there we can do all that matters the most. Too much display of emotions would be too ostentatious, but still all human beings crave for a feeling that they are being taken care of. This is because we all want a cozy place, where we can feel at home and just be ourselves.

Pic src: Listening


P.S. The picture might seem funny but post is not!!!

A letter to Santa

I decided to write a letter to Santa Claus this Christmas with a list of my demands. Here it goes:

Dear Santa
I too am here with a wish or rather wishes. How about something different this time! I hope you help me fulfill those, pleaseeeeee! I have made a list actually, just have a look and give me all those things please:
1. Give me the satisfaction of doing some good for at least one person each day.
2. Let me not be ashamed of myself at the end of the day.
3. Let me see myself eye to eye when I glance at the mirror.
4. Let me make people happy with my disposition.
5. Let my words heal others’ wounds and not have the piercing effect.
6. Give me the courage of conviction so that I can move ahead with confidence.
7. Give the strength to accept my fate, whatever it is.
8. Make my belief in God so strong that no adverse condition is able to shake it.
9. Give me wings to fly, so that I can enjoy a flight of fantasy when things become unbearable.
10. Give me the hope to surge ahead with faith in the time to come.
11. Colour my dreams so that I have a strong reason to look forward to brilliant future.
12. Let me see the light at the end of the tunnel.
13. Give me the courage so that I realize my dreams.
14. Give me the will power so that I have belief in my dreams.
15. Let my efforts not fall short of my targets.
16. Let my prayers be stretched to include the whole of the mankind.
17. Let me not be selfish and greedy restricting the positive vibes only to myself.
18. Help me to spread the message of joy and safely preserve the sorrow deep within me.
19. Give me the gift of truth, honesty, self-determination, sincerity and genuineness.
Is it too much to ask? If that gave you a feeling that ‘all I want is everything’, then please make me a bit less demanding too!!!
While I was typing, I didn’t realize that the list was so long…I was just wanting to be a bit more human…that’s all.

A being wanting to be a human!

I still believe

I fall upon the thorns of life
belittled, I bleed,
but life has roses somewhere
I still believe.

No matter how dark and dreary
the tunnel of life seems
there’s light at the end
I still believe.

What if the roads don’t lead anywhere?
What if I see a dead end ahead?
Life’s a journey ongoing
I still believe.

Doesn’t matter if someone’s bad
doesn’t matter if he punches you hard,
the world is essentially good
I still believe.
© Amritbir Kaur

The Fury of a Patient Man

pic src: The Tribune
John Dryden wrote, “Beware the fury of a patient man.” Indeed, this statement has much more depth than seems at a superficial level. The violence that happened in Ludhiana (for those who don’t know…Ludhiana is a city in Punjab, India) recently was a perfect instance of the pent-up anger being spilled out on roads. Very often it happens that we continue to suffer in silence. We make it a habit of not speaking up for ourselves even when it is the most essential. When we allow ourselves to be exploited, it is only then that seeds of fury are sown in our hearts. A phrase that is commonly used in English is ‘the calm before the storm’. When we keep stored our ill-feelings or justified anger or our voices of protest against the wrong-doings, we are making the ground for an imminent storm.
The poor protest because they have been deprived of what they deserve. They are exploited only because they are poor and don’t have enough resources. The division between the haves and have-nots has been continuously widening in Ludhiana. This accounts for the increase in the crime rate. I say this because crime too has a psychological dimension to it. And it is because of the psychological influence that the analysis of a particular violent protest can be analyzed. If we allow the strong to exploit us then we are giving them the license to do so always. And we are pained only when the exploitation is turned into a habit and we are reduced to mere helpless victims.
In life we have to stand up for ourselves. It is ourselves only who have to defend our self-respect. Otherwise people would always take us for granted and we would be left nowhere…with nothing to protect and nothing to own. So rather than giving a vent to your anger in the form of fury at one go …give it out in bits, that is, by taking a firm stand whenever required and whenever time demands so. This would make things all the more simple and you will be assured a bit smoother sailing in life…we can’t have a perfectly smooth ride after all!!!

A Place to Earn

We often tend to measure our achievements in monetary terms. We are so proud of our worldly possessions that we don’t look even an inch beyond those. We restrict our success to the amount of wealth we have, or the number of luxury items we own. But remember even someone as great as Alexander the Great had to go away empty handed from this world and he wished to show to the world this fact by wishing to keep his hand out of his coffin. We fail to realize that we should not measure our wealth by the money we possess but by those things which we won’t give away even for money. These are the precious relationships and the memories that we cherish forever.
We measure our earnings by the amount of our salaries. But there are other important things we earn in our lifetime and it is those things that stay with us throughout our lives and some even stay back after our span on this earth has ended! You must have judged by now what I want to say: it is the place we earn for ourselves in society. But I must mention here that it is not something related to our socio-economic status or the status related our profession. Rather it is the place that we earmark for ourselves in others’ hearts.
Our actions either make or mar our personality. We can either soothe a heart with warm words or simply add to its woes with piercing words. And it is but obvious which words continue to stay on after we cease to exist! The other aspect is as a proverb goes ‘our actions speak louder that our words’. We make a mark in this world with whatever we do. We continue to etch on new marks with each passing day rather with each passing moment. The blank pages won’t be rewarded, neither would the badly scribbled be. So the best approach is to write the pages of life beautifully so that we are rewarded in the end for our brilliant performance.
So how do we come to know that we have earned a place for ourselves? Is it possible to realize in our lifetime? Or do we have to die before coming to know about it? Of course, it is possible that we have clear proofs of the coveted place that we have for ourselves. Let us take a very simple example. Sometimes it happens that a person blames a man for a misdoing. The accused is innocent in that case and he is being blamed just because the person has a personal grudge against him. Now in this case if the accused has a reputation attached with him, he won’t need to prove his innocence; other people would speak up for him. Now this is a place we all would want to earn!

Hamlet's Soliloquies - I

The peculiar feature of William Shakespeare's ‘Hamlet’ as a play is that it is characterized by five soliloquies, each one of them being spoken by Hamlet on different occasions. They lend to the character of Hamlet a different hue and make the play a philosophical one rather than a mere revenge play. Some critics like T.S. Eliot have pointed out that the soliloquies are a serious drawback of the play and manifest an excess of emotion improper to action.
D.H.Lawrence in his essay, ‘On Drama’ points out that Hamlet’s personality is in a state of disintegration, that is, his head, heart and hand do not work in unison but reflect Hamlet’s nature. Apart from this, we cannot conceive of his character.
The first soliloquy of Hamlet from Act I, scene ii is:

O, that this too too solid flesh would melt
Thaw and resolve itself into a dew!
Or that the Everlasting had not fix'd
His canon 'gainst self-slaughter! O God! God!
How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable,
Seem to me all the uses of this world!
Fie on't! ah fie! 'tis an unweeded garden,
That grows to seed; things rank and gross in nature
Possess it merely. That it should come to this!
But two months dead: nay, not so much, not two:
So excellent a king; that was, to this,
Hyperion to a satyr; so loving to my mother
That he might not beteem the winds of heaven
Visit her face too roughly. Heaven and earth!
Must I remember? why, she would hang on him,
As if increase of appetite had grown
By what it fed on: and yet, within a month--
Let me not think on't--Frailty, thy name is woman!--
A little month, or ere those shoes were old
With which she follow'd my poor father's body,
Like Niobe, all tears:--why she, even she--
O, God! a beast, that wants discourse of reason,
Would have mourn'd longer--married with my uncle,
My father's brother, but no more like my father
Than I to Hercules: within a month:
Ere yet the salt of most unrighteous tears
Had left the flushing in her galled eyes,
She married. O, most wicked speed, to post
With such dexterity to incestuous sheets!
It is not nor it cannot come to good:
But break, my heart; for I must hold my tongue.

This soliloquy is a remarkable indication of the state of mind Hamlet is in. we have before us a simultaneous presentation of the present chaos and the past orderly conditions. The death of his father and over-hasty marriage of his mother creates a terror in his mind and he begins to contemplate committing suicide. But then as a true Christian he remembers he ought not to follow that urge and instead wishes that the Almighty had not made any law forbidding suicide. So we come to know that Hamlet is a true Christian at heart inspite of his education.
Hamlet is not able to reconcile himself to the hasty marriage of his mother; it had only been a month since his father died. Hamlet’s statement, “Frailty, thy name is woman!” sums up his views about women in general, to be analyzed in context of his shock experienced at his mother’s behaviour.
This soliloquy is a beginning of Hamlet’s journey towards self-understanding. He says “I must hold my tongue”, he clearly sees through the urgency of keeping quiet and maintaining his silence at this point of time. He needs to watch the situation to unfold itself, a deeper analysis would be required before coming to any conclusion as far as fixing the blame for his father’s murder on his uncle Claudius (whom now Hamlet’s mother has married) is concerned.

I know I am normal because...

pic src: picture

I know I am normal because…

•I am affected by what’s happening around me.
•I do get disappointed by the failures of life.
•I try to hide my tears behind my smiles.
•I wish to fulfill my dreams no matter how far-fetched they seem.
•I find it hard to change myself just because the world wants me to be like the majority.
•I take life as a challenge.
•I wish to change what’s wrong with the world.
•I try to hide my weaknesses.
•I wish I was not a puppet in the hands of my fate.
•I am furious with the injustice being meted out to the deserving.
•I feel the pain of unfulfilled dreams.
•I can’t detach myself from the cherished memories of the past.
•My heart longs to go back to the things I have left behind.
•I hope for a miracle every day I wake up.