Picture or Person

An old English proverb says, ‘First impression is the last impression’. I don’t know how true the statement is! And I say this because in life we can never be so sure and so we cannot make such sweeping statements. Sometimes a single encounter with a person is not enough for even a glimpse into the personality.
Many times people tend to judge a person from a picture of his/hers. But can we know even a hint out of them? Not exactly sure. A picture is just like a peep out of the window to the outside world. But they may be deceptive. Shakespeare rightly said in ‘Merchant of Venice’: “Goodly apple rotten at heart.”
Often we say things are not what they seem. This may be true in both ways – a seemingly good thing may be just the opposite but a bad thing apparently may be a good one. So how do we become better judges? Actually what matters is the heart. No matter what the external appearance is it is the heart that matters. A beautiful heart makes even an ugly face look really gorgeous. But a person with evil designs and a heart full of ill-wills would make even the most beautiful face the ugliest.
So on one thing we should all agree that a picture cannot be a good judge of the person. Look for a beautiful heart instead of a goody exterior!

The Terrified Man

We, human beings, tend to live in constant fear. No matter how hard we try we cannot liberate our mind from the ensnaring clutches of unwarranted claims exerted by the uncalled for fears. Why can’t we ever detach our mind from those binding ties? To enjoy the bliss of life in the real sense, we should heed to what our heart says. This is because the heart’s voice often tends to be a true one (provided we have a clear conscience!).
Living in fear as a terrified man implies that we simply exist as it does not construe life in the real sense of the term.
The fear is a very broad term. Sometimes we fear failure but at times we are even secretly afraid of success. The old English proverb, ‘Do your best and leave the rest’, tells us not to be obsessed or over expectant about the results. It also conveys a message that we should work whole heartedly.
Now coming to living like a terrified man, let us analyse this concept a bit. Just imagine your life right from your childhood. The moment we are conscious of the world existing around us, fears start to creep in into our mind. Life begins with the fear of sharing toys with siblings or with others. An added fear at this age is of the toys being broken. Then comes the stage of being terrified at the thought of going to school, the scarring teacher, the bullies in the school etc. Of course, who can forget the fear of examinations!!!
There is the stage of ‘storm and stress’ (as Stanley Hall calls it) – the age of adolescence: a complete package of all sorts of fears, apprehensions, doubts and endless worries related to all sorts of boy talk or girl talk!!!
Then life brings you at crossroads and you have all the apprehensions about joining another institution for higher institution (a university or a college). A shift from school to college or university is seen as a big shift in life of every individual.
Once the education is over, then fears encircling us are those related to get a decent job that gives you sufficient financial freedom that you could live a life free from all fears of going to bed on an empty stomach.
This vicious cycle of fears goes on endlessly throughout our life…the fear of losing someone we have or the fear of not having someone you want…the fear of being beaten or the fear of accepting victory with the essential grace…the fear of leading a good life or the fear of death…the fear of telling lies or the fear of speaking the truth…the fear of not being able to see the new horizons or the fear of venturing out in search of those new horizons…
And life goes on...we live in fear and die with it…may be afraid of revealing our identity after death even, we chose the nameless graves to stay unknown and unseen…


Pic src: Bluetooth via my mobile (couln't find in on net!!!)

Trust is the basis of any relationship. How do we define trust is entirely our personal matter. We might call the thing subjective. Some might define it as the consistency of someone’s character, others might mean to say that they can trust a person if he/she does not change with time; or someone who behaves as is expected from them. Trust is like giving some authority to the person you trust. Generally when we say we trust someone, it means that person will not backbite about you. Instead he might criticize you in front of you but will praise you behind your back. Even if some mischief monger tries to turn you against him/her you won’t believe him, as you trust that person.
A stamp of trust is when a person says about you, “This person cannot do such a thing.” This happens when we need not speak because our action and conduct speaks louder than our words.
Hurting is the biggest setback for trust. How true what Friedrich Nietzsche said, “I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”
Imagine the tearing of a cloth into two pieces. Then we say we can join it. Of course, we can do it but what will you do with the joint? You cannot convert into one piece again. Same is the case with relationships. Once distrust creeps in, things are not the same again. Similarly, once a person hurts you, things cannot be forgotten so easily.
The quote above mentions: “You hurt me once, shame on you. You hurt me twice, shame on me.” Now we have two situations. In the first one, the person A has been hurt once. It is shame on person B (who has hurt A) because B has hurt someone who trusted him. In the second situation it is shame on A as it is him/her who made the mistake of trusting B again, even after having been hurt once. Now don’t get lost in this story of A and B…the message is serious!!!
So be sure before you trust someone. By trusting someone you are not only resting your faith on him but also giving him an opportunity to hurt you. And who would want to take a risk!!! But once risk taken, then don’t abandon the boat midway, let it touch the shore and that’ll be all the more beautiful. This is because trust can make life beautiful but HANDLE WITH CARE…IT IS SOMETHING BREAKABLE!!!

Humour - the Spice of Life

Humour has been called the spice of life. Laughter is the best medicine. What I want to add to it is that making others smile is a good exercise. This one is a healthy exercise for the heart. A large number of people indulge in damaging exercises like mud-slinging, backbiting, passing sarcastic remarks etc. All this leads to only heart break or heart ache. It is of no use trying all those because it needs to be kept in mind that we get what we give to the world. Heart is the hub of all the activities, the thing around which the whole life revolves. So why not keep it all aglow with the bliss of satisfaction, peace and nobility.
First and foremost condition for spreading joys around you is to be open to criticism. Accept gracefully whenever you are the centre of the joke. Let your heart say, “All is well” because at that time you are only spreading smiles on the faces turned gloomy by the onslaught of the modern lifestyle of man.
Next, never be ashamed of being called a fool. Remember ‘every man is a fool for at least five minutes a day’. Moreover, also bring to your mind the Shakespearean fool – the wisest person of Shakespearean drama in the garb of a jester or a fool.
Never be sarcastic or talk in a tongue-in-cheek manner. You won’t ever gain by hurting others.
Never give up, even if people don’t laugh at your jokes. Remember a friend is the one who can manage to smile at you silliest joke…so be assured somebody is there who can enjoy even the worst of your jokes.
Target those who have the will and wisdom to continue the refreshing wit started by you. Let the chain build by itself.
Steal moments from life for sharing a smile at least if not laughter. As W.H. Davies remarkably wrote in his famous poem, ‘Leisure’:
“No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began?”
Wait for the smile to brighten up your surroundings. It is then that you can feel some kind of uplifting aura around you.
So the key-phrase is KEEP SMILING SO THAT OTHERS CAN!!! :)

'Without You' - a poem

Pic src : Lonely

I was alone when with you
And lonely without you,
No matter how I comfort myself
I’ll be incomplete without you.

This world where I live
Is so scarry without you,
I can’t smile to my self
And say “I am ok without you.”

My heart humbly asks “What happened?”
“Nothing” I say thinking of you,
The heart’s reply, “I’m shattered with your nothing!”
And I don’t know how to go on without you.

© Amritbir Kaur
(just to suggest that please don't copy!!!)

The Last Scene of 'Oedipus Rex'

Img src: Oedipus Rex

In Exodus (the last scene) the chorus in the drama ‘Oedipus Rex’ sings about the insignificance of man. Oedipus wins fame when he answers the riddle of the sphinx. After sometime, he faces his own ruin. A messenger comes to him from the palace. He narrates to him what he had seen, as the Queen was in agony. He told him that she fell upon her bed. She shouted for her terrible fate and even remembered her first husband (Laius). On hearing what the messenger told him, Oedipus goes inside the palace. He finds that the room is closed but he opens it forcibly. He finds her hanging by the neck. He takes down her body hurriedly, takes away the broaches from her dress and blinds himself so that he may not see in future. Thus, by blinding himself he sees what he could not see while having his sight. He cries over his terrible fate, which was already determined by god Apollo. Even the chorus becomes melancholic that he was not saved when he was thrown from the mountain. He remembers all the things that he did and begs to the chorus to kill him. His wife’s brother, Creon removes from the palace. He meets the rude behaviour of Creon but requests him to send him to some mountain so that he may spend his last days there. The last scene of this play is pathetic and evokes the feelings of pity and fear.

The feeling that is aroused in the minds of the readers is that we are mere playthings in the hands of the gods, and our lives are completely governed by the pre-determined fate. There is a kind of helpless feeling in the last scene. It is as if we cannot do anything to avoid the inevitable. What the protagonist, Oedipus has to suffer far outweighs his sins. What we see as the play develops is how the events take place, what we refer to as the chance factor plays a very dominant role. And we are left only to wonder, how could this happen! But as in real life, sometimes the unexpected always happens. All the strings of the story are so well-woven that not even for a single moment do we feel that the events are not sequenced logically.